all the continents in one lifetime?

Christmas went by almost unnoticed for us. My husband was standby so besides preparing a festive meal nothing special happened to mark the day.

But then something delightfully unexpected happened: we received a last minute invitation from our new friends (Vietnamese woman + Swedish man) for a dinner party on Boxing Day. As we arrived there we discovered our other friends were also at the table (English woman + French man). The nanny took care of the three kids upstairs and we could give the meal and the conversation our undivided attention. We really feel a connection: all young parents far away from family and friends. Every story and situation sounds recognizable.

December 30^th my parents arrived. They spent the night and the next morning we drove to Houlgate in Normandy for a week. We went to the same Pierre & Vacances as last time, only this time we took my parents instead of my mother-in-law. We decorated the place with Christmas lights and even a little tree, to get in the spirit. Unfortunately it rained most days, but we managed to go on a couple of day trips. Our son especially loved walking on the beach with his boots stuck in the sand and the wind almost knocking him over. We gave him a present every couple of days, instead of all at once, so he had something new to play with during the rest of our stay. My husband was ill the entire week (fever and sore throat, this time), but the rest of us were spared.

The second week we stayed in Belgium and it was my turn to lay in bed with a fever. My throat closed and I had difficulty swallowing, but I didn’t feel any pain. I only felt dead tired. This time I had my family close by, allowing me to recover within days. My husband and I went shopping (sales!), out to dinner and to see a movie. My mom also organized a late New Year’s gathering where my 4-year-old niece could finally read her Nieuwjaarsbrief  (New Year’s letter) to my dad (her godfather). We ate cake and the little ones received their last presents (from uncle and aunt to nephew and/or niece).

So now we’re back in France. It is to be our last year here. Maybe even our last months. We feel the end is drawing near and we long for a new beginning. That’s why I wish for two things: first and foremost I would like to wish my whole family good health. Without it nothing else matters as we have experienced too many times these last months. And if possible I wish to know (soon, please!) which country is next on the list for us. The wait is starting to strain us.  

We decided to plan another trip to Center Parcs seeing our son enjoyed himself so much the last time (in February last year). This time however, we wanted to try a domain in France, not too far away from our home. We finally went to Le Lac d’Ailette in Aisne.

Upon arrival our son was sobbing because he had hoped we were going to grandma and granddad. It’s true that these days a long car trip means a visit to the family in Belgium, so I can only imagine his disappointment. I felt so sorry for him.

There are no cars allowed on the domain – you can only unload your car – so we were unpleasantly surprised to discover the pool, the indoor playing hall and the restaurants were all situated at about 1 kilometer’s walk from our cabin, usually in the pouring rain…. Fortunately our son’s stroller has a good rain cover, but even with an umbrella we didn’t manage to keep it dry.

Our daily schedule was this: in the morning daddy walks to the bakery and back for fresh bread (delivery is possible if you pay…), around 10 o’clock we all walked to the pool (packed with towels, nappies, swimming gear, etc.), return around noon to eat lunch, nap time for our son and then back to the indoor play hall and dinner in one of the restaurants and finally back to the cabin. If anything, we managed to keep fit during our stay.

Apart from the distance there were three more reasons for dismay:

1)      Most TV stations had hardly any signal. The technical service told us this was due to a storm the night before our arrival. The problem remained unresolved during our entire stay. Back home this situation wouldn’t pose a problem (there’s always stuff to do), but in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere boredom soon kicks in.    

2)      The “jardin d’hiver” (winter garden), the restaurant and children’s entertainment area, was swarming with mosquitoes. While eating or watching our son shake his behind at the mini disco we were literally fanning away the pesky insects with our hands. We were all bitten several times and that in the middle of winter!

3)      The time table and opening hours of the restaurants displayed at the entrance was quite frankly a laugh. The visitors were lead to believe several restaurants were open every night and at least one of them at 6.30 pm. On average only 1 restaurant was open and usually not before 7 pm, and this without the slightest warning. When you have a 2-year-old who has horsed around all day and is used to going to bed at 7.30 pm, you can imagine he got a tiny bit cranky.  

So all in all a stressful couple of days for mom and dad, but our son, once again, had the time of his life. And that’s all the silver lining I needed.

Next up was a quick visit to family and friends in Belgium. We went for dinner at “Saffraan” (saffron), an Indian restaurant in Antwerp, went to see a movie (In Time), attended my niece’s 4^th birthday party, invited my parents for lunch and all went to a Christmas market in the afternoon, found some nice clothes and presents and saw our neighbors for the last time on their way to their new house (very anxious to meet the newbies).   

By mid-December we were back in France. The toddler group held a Christmas party. Our son met Santa for the first time and I forgot to bring my camera! Luckily a few of the other moms helped me out.

A day and a half later he woke up around midnight. I picked him up out of bed and before I knew it we were both covered in vomit. I changed his pajamas and mine, while daddy cleaned the bedroom floor. Luckily his bed was immaculate. This continued all night: at first every 15 minutes, then every half hour, and every hour until morning and he was completely empty, terrified and exhausted. The doctor’s diagnosis was gastroenteritis. He warned us that as soon as the vomiting was finally over the diarrhea would start. And that’s where we are now. Every dirty nappy is a change of clothes. My washing machine is doing overtime. Hopefully we won’t catch it (please, no repeat of Mr. and Mrs. Ill) and this will all just be an unpleasant memory by Christmas.         

The weekend of Armistice Day (November 11th) was supposed to be a fun long weekend: spending some quality time together as a family, enjoying the November sun, going swimming with two couples we recently befriended (couple 1 = Vietnamese wife + Swedish husband and daughter and couple2 = British wife + Native (French) husband and daughter , a real international company).

No such luck! As soon as the weekend started my husband felt nauseous and suffered from abdominal pains. By noon I got a severe migraine attack followed by extreme nausea. While my husband was able to keep his stomach content retained (which I wasn’t) the pain grew worse enough to consult a doctor. Unfortunately doctors in France don’t make house calls like they do in Belgium, so he had to sit in the waiting room. According to the doctor he probably had an inflamed appendix or an abscess on his appendix. He wrote my husband a prescription to get his blood drawn at the local laboratory (something Belgian doctors do themselves). The doctor promised to call him as soon as the results were in, later that same day.

Lying on the couch, taking turns in entertaining, feeding and changing our son (pinching our nose against the smell of food and dirty nappies…) we waited for the doctor’s phone call which – of course – never came. By Sunday we were at our wits ‘end: both the doctor’s office and the lab were closed, we hadn’t eaten in three days and it was getting harder and harder to take care of our son. My mother-in-law decided to come to the rescue and bought a ticket for the TGV. She arrived Monday at noon, just in time for the results. My husband’s blood work was suspicious and he had to go to hospital for an echogram. Meanwhile I was feeling much better, but my husband’s agony hadn’t ended: he developed a severe case of diarrhea which lasted the whole day. The next morning the doctor announced that nothing could be found on the echo image. In his opinion the appendix had emptied inside my husband’s stomach, causing the diarrhea. An extremely rare condition, but without any further danger. The worst was over.

My mother-in-law ended up staying the whole week, babysitting while I cleaned the house thoroughly. Our son had the time of his life while his grandma played with him. My husband and I both lost a couple of kilos and it has taken us until the beginning of this week to regain our appetite.

This situation confronted us with the inconveniences of our expat life. Paris is the closest destination we will ever be sent to. What if no one will be able to come to our rescue at such short notice ever again? I hope we’ll manage. I suppose we will have no other choice.

End September we went to Prague for a couple of days. The weather was warm and sunny, so we decided to stay clear of public transport and explore the city on foot.

In our city guide (100% Prague) we had 6 walks to discover the different areas.

In the old city we saw the Astronomical clock from 1410 and beautiful historical buildings. The old town square was full of food stalls. In the street close by with all the international fashion stores, a catwalk was built and models were showing the latest collections. The place was buzzing with people.

To have a magnificent view of the city you should either stand on one of the bridges over the Vltava or walk up the hill where you can visit the Castle, the Royal Palace, St Vitus Cathedral and Golden Lane, where Franz Kafka lived at no. 22. 

When you cross the famous Charles Bridge, take a right down the stairs: you'll find a tiny little shop that sells coffee and pastries. We loved the "trdlo", a kind of sweetbread dough wrapped around a metal tube that turned over flames. Once ready it is quickly rolled into a mixture of sugar and cinnamon. Delicious! Just be careful not to burn your fingers... 

The Jewish Town has some well-preserved synagogues, a town hall and a cemetery, all reminders of the ghetto that once existed there. It seems the Nazis deliberately preserved this place to store objects and works of art they stole from Bohemia and Moravia with the intention to make it a museum "of an extinct race". Gripping. 

The heart of the new town is Wenceslas Square. This is where student Jan Palach committed suicide by setting himself on fire as a political protest. Nowadays there are a lot of shops, cafes and restaurants. We even had a Thai foot and neck massage there. There seem to be hundreds of those in the city, but we were intrigued by the two aquariums at either side of the entrance. People were sitting side by side, with fish swarming around their feet. Once inside we decided against the fish pedicure, but I must admit it had made us look twice and persuaded us to go inside. Another place of interest is the Dancing House. It is a postmodern building that actually looks like a couple dancing. Since our hotel was situated close by I can recommend some places: Globe Bookstore & Coffeehouse (pstrossova 6 - globebookstore.cz), great for lunch - Dynamo (pstrossova 220 - dynamorestaurace.cz) ideal for dinner - Cukrarna Mysak (vodickova 31 - gallerymysak.cz) for the best coffee in Prague!

 And for those of you who like alcohol: in Prague you can find excellent beer and the much more dangerous absinth everywhere you go.   

Here are two of my favorite songs at the moment:

Selah Sue - This World

http://youtu.be/UAPcbODp438

Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know

http://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY

Both are Belgian artists (although Gotye's family (real name Wouter "Wally" De Backer) moved to Australia when he was 2 years old)

At the music festival Pukkelpop in Hasselt in eastern Belgium a sudden storm hit the site, sending trees flying in the air and causing tents and stages to collapse. When reports came that a lot of people were injured and some were even feared dead my husband immediately sent a text message to his best friend (the one he went to NY and London with). He was there to see his favorite band (Foo Fighters) perform together with his 16-year-old daughter. We soon received the good news that they were unharmed. (Later on we learned that 5 people had lost their lives and over 70 were injured.) A couple of days later my mother told me that my niece's husband was also at the festival. My niece didn't go with him because she is five months pregnant. Fortunately he too returned home safely.

And then there were the riots in London: barely a month after his farewell dinner (at restaurant Kong in Paris) my husband's colleague found himself surrounded by a mob of angry Londoners. His mission in Paris had ended and now he was looking for an apartment for him and his wife, so in the meantime they were staying at an aparthotel. Which happened to be smack in the middle of the chaos and devastation. Needless to say they were scared out of their wits. Not a good way to get to know your new home country...

So, with the worst summer ever over, and the above mentioned troubles (mostly) over, we have a couple of events to look forward to: a barbecue this Saturday, a city trip to Prague at the end of this month and another one to London at the end of October and last but not least our son's second birthday!     

Every year my parents go on a three-weeks car vacation in July. Normally they make a trip through Spain, Portugal or Italy but because they have seen almost everything over the years they decided to go to the South of France this time. Since they almost cut the distance in half they could take it easy and make a first stop close by in Versailles. They booked a hotel for two nights. On their first day they visited the castle and the splendid gardens and the second day we took the car to meet them.

They stayed at Hotel Pullman Versailles Château. What a location: it is situated very close to the castle! We went to visit the room and changed our son's diaper on the bed. He started running around and jumping on the bed. And while he was enjoying himself I tried to make sure he didn't fall off. Those box spring mattresses make the bed twice as high but also twice as dangerous. 

We went for a walk, had a drink on a "terrasse", talked and laughed and before we knew it the day was over. Our boy fought hard to keep from being strapped in the car seat and started crying and calling for his grandparents. Seeing tears rolling down his cheeks my mom and even my dad, who doesn't show his emotions easily, were struggling to keep it dry. It's hard on them because they don't see their grandson very often. Unlike my parents-in-law, I simply can't convince them that using Skype is child's play (in this day and age, it's driving me crazy!!!). 

Now their three weeks are almost over and I suggested they make a little detour on their way home. They will arrive this Saturday at noon and will stay until Sunday. My brother will have to feed the family dog for one extra day. I'm not going to tell our boy yet. The concept of time is still unknown to him, so explaining to him that his grandparents are coming this weekend would do more harm than good. But I can't wait to see the look of surprise on his face.        

A couple of months ago we started hearing rumors. Not only did we learn that we were scheduled to move to London next summer, but at the same time more disturbing news came our way: my husband's department will soon have to endure major cut-backs. Although the company is doing well we understand that the economic climate is very unstable, so we were prepared to make sacrifices and tighten our belts. But with every passing day the reports got worse. It seems the ultimate goal of the company is to dispense with all expats and employ local contractors in their stead. At best one person will stay per country or sector to lend them support.

It seems our dream is crumbling down... We both gave up our job, left family and friends behind to embark on this wonderful adventure with the hope to one day have lived in all the continents in one lifetime. We could start all over again, but we have the welfare of our son to consider. So maybe we'll stay in France from now on. My husband will have to apply for a position inside the mother company. Since we will no longer benefit from expat fees I will be forced to find a (French-speaking!) job too. Our son won't be educated in an English international school, but a local French one, since we won't be able to afford anything else. The multicultural experiences we wanted to offer him have become like a mirage. It was heaven while it lasted, I guess.

I try to keep the faith, to be hopeful. Maybe his colleagues won't take it lying down and go on a strike. Maybe my husband is chosen to be one of the persons lending support at the locals. Or maybe, probably, I'm grasping at straws. It's out of our hands. They can do with us as they please. We will have to bite the bullet and see things from another perspective.      

The two weeks that followed our holiday in Spain we spent in Belgium, catching up with family and friends. Going from no babysitter to several willing candidates was a welcome change for us. We went to dinner a couple of times and even saw a movie or two.

But we didn't neglect our boy. We bought him a trampoline, which took us a whole day to assemble! It was all worth it though: he could literally stay in there for an hour (thank god for the safety net and child proof fastening of the zipper). We also took him on play dates with kids his age, which he loved, especially because they spoke his language.

Our favorite outing however was a visit to Planckendael, a Flemish wildlife park. We were a little bit worried that he would be scared by the animals, because lately he was saying he was afraid each time we showed him a picture of a large mammal. It turned out he was very excited to recognize some of the animals from his picture books. I think his favorites were the giraffes and the zebras, but mine were the red panda and the lions.

Ronda

Malaga

Malaga

Marbella

Puerto Banus

At the beginning of this month we flew to the south of Spain for a short holiday with our son. It was his first time in an aircraft and he found it really hard to sit still. There was a lot of crying, shouting and moving about. We were embarrassed, because we were ashamed to admit that this kind of situation would have gotten on our nerves before we became parents.

Upon arrival we picked up the rental car with baby seat and drove to the Pierre & Vacances Manilva resort. The journey there went smoothly, but then we lost over an hour trying to find the exact location. Luckily I speak Spanish. Many people didn't even know which resort I was talking about, but finally a taxi driver showed us the way with a big grin: it seemed we were not the first to drive around in circles. When I mentioned this later at the reception the lady simply said "I know we are difficult to find". 

The first room smelled like a used toilet and the fridge didn't work. According to the technician that was because someone had left the door open and now it would take several hours to cool down again. Only we didn't have hours because we wanted to do some grocery shopping for the week. After a call to reception we were given another room. And what a difference! A working fridge and no bad odors. We were ready to start our holiday.

Unfortunately the weather was disappointing. Most mornings were chilly, overcast and very windy. We tried to go for a swim in the afternoon once but the water was freezing. Afterwards our boy was afraid to take his bath, because he remembered the cold water. So instead of a holiday at the pool we took the car to go on sightseeing trips: Malaga, Marbella, Puerto Banus, Ronda. All in all we enjoyed our stay very much, although we had something very different in mind when we booked a holiday to the Costa del Sol ("sunny coast").

I promised a report on our city trip to Madrid, so here it is:

My husband's current manager has an apartment in Madrid and spends a lot of time there. He recommended a hotel outside the city center to avoid noise at night. We ended up going to the Eurostars Madrid Tower hotel. It was obviously a business hotel, but the room was fantastic: king size bed, enormous bathroom and splendid view. To top it off the breakfast buffet was one of the best we ever had.  

Since we only had a couple of days we again decided to see the sights on the tourist bus. We bought a ticket for two days and on the first day we took the modern route and the second the historical route. For lunch and dinner we usually chose a tapas bar from the little book we obtained at the tourist office: "Tapas in Madrid". It has maps for the different areas of the city with a number indicating the location of each bar, the closest metro station, the specialties of each restaurant, opening hours. Very handy, indeed!

We also went to "Botin" on our last night. It is the oldest restaurant in the world according to the Guinness Book of Records, established in 1725. The food was a little disappointing, but it's worth it just for the atmosphere. One tip though: book your table in advance! You won't get in without a reservation. 

But my favorite place was definitely "La Mallorquina" (established in 1894) at the always crowded Puerta del Sol: all sorts of cakes and pies to go, or to eat standing at the counter, Spanish style.     

And my husband's dream-come-true was a visit to the Santiago Bernabeu stadium of football team Real Madrid. You can see the trophies, the visitors' dressing room and even sit on the bench where the substitute players sit during the match.  

We really enjoyed ourselves. And who wouldn't want to sleep in a soft bed, eat delicious food, walk under a clear bleu sky and free your mind and body from all the stress. Both my husband and I agree that this is maybe not so much a city to visit as a tourist, but a city you could see yourself living in. Being expats that is probably a kind of built-in mechanism: to evaluate, even on holiday, the livability of each new destination.    

This morning I took my son to an English Mother & Toddler group nearby. When we go walking in our neighbourhood or at the playground most children are older than him and he's getting more and more frustrated that no one wants to play with him. He also misses his grandparents (and their pets - mine have a dog, my parents-in-law two cats) and is constantly asking about them. I felt so sorry for him and didn't want to see him sad so I went on the internet and was happily surprised to find this group so closeby.

At first I thought I was in the wrong place because I was the only one there. But slowly but surely mothers with their children started showing up and my boy's eyes lit up. He was running and shouting from overexcitement. He was so busy making new friends he didn't even stop to see if I was still in the room. After a while though he stared getting tired and hungry, so I quickly helped to tidy some toys and went home. After his lunch my boy went out like a light. I'm so pleased he enjoyed himself that I decided to make it a weekly appointment!  

Because we were going on a city trip to Madrid (from Monday to Friday) without our son we drove to Belgium on Saturday morning to drop him off with my parents. On the trip there we got a call from my husband's Belgian colleague and friend (the one from "Two and 1/2 parties" - January 2009). He has been living in Singapore since February 2009 and is the proud father of a 10-month-old baby boy now. He informed us that he had bought an apartment in Belgium and had taken a week vacation to finish the paperwork and do some painting and cleaning in order to make it rentable. We agreed to meet at our house that same evening. More than two years have gone by since we last met, so we had a lot to talk about. It was an unforeseen but pleasant reunion!

The next day we all gathered at my parents' house to see the traditional carnival parade go by. The kids had their baskets ready to collect all the candy that is thrown from the floats. The weather was excellent but at the last minute I decided to keep our boy inside to watch from the window unlike my brother. He didn't say anything but I had a feeling he thinks I am overprotective. But I don't care: the music was just too loud, the parade passed too slow (several hours!) and they intentionally put confetti in my nephew's sweater and pants and he's only 18 months old. After less than 30 minutes our son lost all interest. And before the end of the parade everyone was back inside because even my 3-year-old niece had had enough.  

A few days ago my mom called me with some bad news: my great-aunt passed away. She was the youngest sister of my grandmother, my mom's mother.

She has always been a loner and hardly ever opened the door or answered the telephone anymore. I suppose old spinsters lose their social skills over the years. So when my uncle put the groceries at the front door and noticed they were still outside hours later he asked my mom to check it out. Ringing the doorbell and banging on the closed shutters didn't help, but that was not really unusual. But when she looked between a gap in the shutters and saw the bedroom light still on, she started to suspect something. Afraid to go in alone she went to fetch her other brother, who lives next to her. He climbed over the back fence and saw her on the floor next to the bed. According to the coroner she had been lying there for two days. My mom had trouble sleeping for a while, the image burnt into her memory. I won't be able to attend the funeral since we will be on a city trip to Madrid to celebrate my husband's birthday and our 18 years anniversary (of being together, not of marriage obviously).   

And then today my mom called me with some good news: my niece has given birth to a second baby girl. It's as if one life replaces another.

A week after our visit to Center Parcs we noticed a rash around our boy's nipple. There were only three of four spots, but I immediately suspected chicken pox. I surfed on the net and when I found the same rash on his head the next morning I was sure. That afternoon the paediatrician gave us confirmation. Although a vaccine exists, he told us that in France they prefer children to catch the illness to produce antibodies.

He reassured us that it was only a mild form, but that a fever would probably be inevitable. The hardest thing is to keep your child from scratching, because infection can cause nasty scars. We soon found out that the winter weather was a good ally: long sleeves, pants and socks during the day and a sleeping bag at night covered most of his body. All that was left to protect were is skull and forehead (the rest of his face was pox-free). A watchful eye and close-cut finger nails took care of that.

Reducing bath time to a minimum was the final precautionary measure. What baby didn't see, usually didn't bother him, but once in the tub he couldn't help being curious about those red dots on his belly.

About ten days later most scabs had disappeared and life was back to normal. I'm very happy it's behind us.